Wabi Sabi (wah-bee sah-bee). What a fun word! But also a word I’m trying to understand and embrace and live. Wabi sabi is a Japanese concept that is difficult for us Westerners to understand. It is a Japanese way of thought that finds beauty in the imperfect, in the impermanent, and in the incomplete. Think about that. In the West, we strive for what is perfect and will last and is complete. But, could there be good and worth in what is not? I want order, but can I find good in the disorderly? I want things to work out smoothly, but can I be content in the process and in the bumps along the way? I want things arranged in perfect balance, but can I see the beauty in what is off-balance? Wabi sabi seems to capture for me more of life’s realities. Because things don’t last. Not everything gets finished. And perfection is hard to come by. Wabi sabi will let me be okay with that. And not just okay, but actually find beauty and joy and meaning in that.
White pages waiting
A soul filled with ideas
A book being formed
Finding beauty in imperfection and imbalance brings me freedom. Relationships are messy, and wabi sabi makes room for that instead of expecting neatness from relationships that can make me put on a fake smile. I can let go of the high expectations I have of others and be able to accept them where they are. I am free from feeling as if I must change others, to just appreciating them for where they are and who they are. We are all imperfect and unfinished and mortal. Sitting down for a cup of tea with a friend for a heart-to-heart chat is so much better than having an elegant tea party planned out to the last detail, where manners and courtesy are all I get to see of the party guests. Leonard Cohen penned these words that resonate so well with this philosophy, “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”
Even ordinary things can be appreciated greatly when I look at them with wabi sabi eyes. Something that is rustic can seem fresh. That wobbly, faded oak bookcase may be just what the room needs to make it seem homier. The desk that has followed my husband around since childhood, with our children’s scribbles etched on the surface, doesn’t need to be fixed or cleaned up or perfected, only appreciated with a nostalgic smile.
Something that is quirky can be beautifully unique. That colorful patterned shirt may be the sunshine that makes my day brighter. The flower randomly growing in a crack in the sidewalk surprises me with its beauty more than my perfectly-planned garden. Something that is lacking can seem elegant. A bare wall can create the space I need to relax and breathe. A gray and rainy day can be just what I need to put me in a reflective mood. Something that is limited can be full of meaning. The cheap trinket picked up for a dollar at a flea market has a history that will not compare to anything I buy at a shopping mall.
Worn log in a grove
Green canopied hideaway
Becomes my castle
When I learn to accept imperfection in things and in others, then I can begin to accept imperfection in myself. It helps me to understand God. God loves the imperfect me. God sees loveliness in what is flawed. God uses imperfection and imbalance in unique, creative, and beautiful ways.
Wabi sabi allows me to appreciate growing old. It sees the stories told by the wrinkled face as more beautiful than any botox treatment. It allows me to continue to use what is worn. That old frayed shirt I’ve had for twenty years comforts me in a way a new, crisp blouse cannot. And if something doesn’t last or isn’t the best quality, I can still enjoy it for the time it is with me. The morning glory climbing the fence has a short-lived elegance that the showy roses do not. It allows me to slow down without feeling guilty. I can appreciate today and let go of the problems of yesterday. I can live in the moment without worrying about the future. I can accept failure, and even find joy in it. My detailed plans may not go as desired, but I can welcome that and move on. My hopes may fade, but I can embrace a new hope. A wabi sabi attitude is flexible. It’s freeing.
Faded eyes twinkling
Deep lines telling a story
Shaking hands grasping
Wabi sabi brings contentment. Wabi sabi brings humility. I’m not striving anymore for the latest or the greatest. I’m accepting life’s realities, the good and the bad. The word grace comes to mind. Grace to love the picture scribbled by my friend with intellectual disabilities. Grace to love the bully. Grace to admit my mistakes and not pretend I am perfect or have it all together. Grace to love the process more than the product. Wabi sabi is embracing the chaos of life, with grace.
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