Can one really act out of pure motives? I’ve had this discussion with friends on occasion. Is it really possible to let go of self-centeredness and do acts of kindness and love out of the love and goodness within us alone? Do we ever act purely out of love with nothing else in it for us? I’m not sure of the answer. I know it’s very difficult. Perhaps impossible. Or perhaps there are moments where we can let go and let God live and act through us out of pure love. Perhaps.
Having said that, too often I do things to gain something for myself. I give money so that my name will show up on a list somewhere. I sacrifice to earn other’s respect. I do an act of kindness for the admiring glances I receive. I take a meal to someone hoping they’ll return the favor. I volunteer in order to boost my resume. Oh, my self-centeredness is truly amazing. I want to feel good about myself. I want to feel superior to others who aren’t as dedicated. And so, I do good things. And these are still good things to do, even if done out of selfishness. But is it possible to be selfless? Would I still do them if I weren’t concerned about how it benefits me? Can I do these things with pure motives, being more true to myself and to others and to God? I hope the answer is “yes.”
So, then the question becomes “how?” How can I let go of self? How can I be kind and compassionate with pure motives? I think the place to start is with contemplation. Contemplation seems to be the opposite of striving. And as long as I’m striving to act in my own strength, I’m just building myself up and continuing to act out of selfishness. Contemplative prayer, or meditation, helps me to let go. It helps me to relinquish my small ego-centered self and to embrace something bigger, namely God. Paul Knitter says that one reason peacemakers in this world should value and practice meditation and contemplation is “to remove one’s ego from one’s peacemaking, so that one’s actions will not be coming from one’s ego-needs but from the wisdom and compassion that constitute one’s true nature.” That is what we need. People who have learned to open their fists, releasing their clenched hold on self. And people who have learned to connect with something bigger, holding on tightly to something greater: a universal love, a transcendent God. Then the peacemaking will follow. The acts of kindness and love will take over. The actions will become true.
Basilea Schlink once said, “I don’t want respect. I don’t want admiration. I don’t want to worry about whether I get a bad deal. I don’t want to be involved in myself. I want to think the best of my brother and sister. For if we give others love, we will no longer center around ourselves.” May this be true for me. May this be true for you. At least for a moment. And if those moments add up, well, think about what a world this would be.
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