What is prayer? A spiritual discipline? A conversation? Connection with God? A way to get God to do things? I pray every day, in some form or another, whether it’s when I’m alone and quiet, or words I write in a journal, or with my family before meals or bed, or with other God-believers, or quick prayers sent up to God as I go about my day. I’ve also struggled with prayer. I’ve wondered what to pray, how to pray, when to pray, where to pray. Many prayer meetings have made me uncomfortable, where I feel the need to think through my prayers before saying them aloud, where the same things are reiterated over and over again, where certain words seem to be held up as more spiritual than others.
Too often prayer has become a way of trying to promote my own success or to keep my own control over situations, all with a little help from a Friend. Many times this is what prayer feels like. “Help this to go well. Help this to be the best. Do what I want in this situation.” I’m trying to get God to do what I want him to do. I’m pretty sure that’s not how prayer is supposed to be. I don’t want to use prayer as a function to achieve what I desire. Prayer should be about giving up control, not maintaining control.
I heard someone say this recently, and I love the concept, and wish I could give credit to the one who said it, but I can’t remember who it was. Instead of praying, “God, make this better, make this situation be what I want it to be.” We should be praying, “God, make this count, make this worth something, make this what you want.” Because it shouldn’t be about me, it should be about God.
The Bible talks several times about praying “in Jesus’ name.” Perhaps this means that prayer is participating with what God is already doing. It is praying for the same things Jesus would. It is God inviting me to join him. Not me inviting God to join me. It is letting God do the praying in me.
John 15:4-8 (MSG) says “Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can’t bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can’t bear fruit unless you are joined with me….But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon.”
Prayer is about being connected to Jesus. It’s being at home with him. It’s sitting in the living room with our feet propped up, sharing intimately about life. It’s talking freely and listening well. It’s letting go of self and ego. It’s letting Father pull up a chair, look into my heart, and putting my hand in his.
Matthew 6:5-13 (MSG) says, “And when you come before God, don’t turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat? Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace. The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They’re full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don’t fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply.”
Read that again. Isn’t that beautiful? Isn’t it freeing? Keep prayer simple. Be humble before God. Be quiet before God. Be alone before God. Believe Father is love, and he would never make you pray a certain way in order to get what you want. He would never make you jump through hoops to get to him. Father just wants to be close to you. So, pull up a chair. Relax. Let your hand fall into his. Let your life be carried by him.
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