“Sleuthing the Mysteries of Abandonment, Adoption and DNA.” This is the subtitle to Craig Steffen’s book A Family Apart, and it gives readers a glimpse into what will follow when they open its pages. This is Craig Steffen’s memoir; a story about his abandonment as a very young child, the consequential stay in an orphanage, and eventual adoption of him and his sister by stoic parents. All of this creates a fierce longing in Craig to find out where he came from, who his parents were, and what biological connections he might have with others.
In the majority of the book, Craig is looking for his roots. Thanks to a God who takes bad situations and turns them into good, Craig’s life is healthy and fruitful. He has a good job, a good wife, and a good home. But, he wants to see beneath the branches, beneath the soil. What is he connected to? Where did he come from? How did he grow into what he is today? And so, Craig sets out on a journey to discover whatever he can about his parents, their lives, his birth, and whatever biological connections he might have to others on this planet. As I was reading, I found it a bit tedious trying to follow all his leads, getting bogged down by the details of his search. But something kept me going, as it did Craig. For everyone likes a good mystery!
In many ways, it was hard for me to relate to this story. I grew up with my biological parents and sisters in a loving and intact home. I don’t understand this need to connect with biological family, because I have always had that privilege. But my husband, Ron, has not. And there are many similarities between Craig’s story and Ron’s. He too was abandoned at a young age, ended up in the foster care system, and was later adopted into a family where he found it difficult to fit in. Unlike Craig, Ron never had this intense desire to discover his roots. Yet, in recent years, he has discovered more about his past that has intrigued him and helped him to make biological connections. He was recently reunited with three brothers, one of whom he hadn’t seen since he was 4 or 5 years old. Thanks to one brother’s research, he has also learned quite a bit about his now-deceased parents, their difficult life journeys, and subsequent multiple partners and children. Ron was also given a Bible that belonged to his father, with notes written throughout, giving him a glimpse into his father’s soul.
This journey into the past, into woundedness and brokenness and cut-off roots, is not an easy one. But it can be one of healing discovery and painful new growth. For, as Craig Steffen says, “I have learned that this God is seemingly FAR more comfortable with chaos and disorder than modern, American Christianity proclaims. I have learned that this God is able to create good not only as a result of the good that humans do, but also in spite of the bad choices that we make.” And for that, we are all thankful.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the author and/or publisher through the Speakeasy blogging book review network. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR,Part 255.
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