How The Business of Death Saved My Life
By Caleb Wilde
When I first decided to read this book, I was rather skeptical. Why would I read a book about a funeral director? Isn’t this topic rather morbid? I tend to avoid the topic of death, if I can. Though, somehow, sooner or later, life forces us to look death in the face. As you might expect, this book is by a man that faced death constantly, growing up in a funeral home and eventually taking over the family business. It is his journey from what he calls a “death negative narrative” to a “death positive narrative.” And it is one of the best books I’ve read in a while. Honest. Funny. Relatable. Sad. Real.
Most of us tend to view death as a very bad thing, evil and dark, with nothing good in it. Many Christians only see death as the ultimate punishment for sin. And so, we try to avoid it at all costs. Our medical field is built around this concept. “We fear death because we don’t know it, we don’t see it, and we don’t touch it.” So often, we let the professionals handle death, because we don’t want death to touch us, instead of letting death be what it is, a normal part of life. (We also do this with birth and religion and sadness and music, but those are topics for another day.) Now don’t get me wrong. Death is hard. It’s messy. It’s heartbreaking. However, that narrative is incomplete. We can’t stop there.
This book captures Caleb Wilde’s journey to find beauty and goodness in death. He did this by finding a better spirituality and a healthier faith. He did this by changing his view of God. Instead of seeing God as an unloving entity meting out death according to his inclinations, he began to see God suffering with us, God crying with us, and a vulnerable God who even died with us. Grief became, for Caleb, a positive emotion. “You aren’t sick with grief; you’re healthy with grief. And you don’t need closure; grief will always be the in-between, and that’s okay.” Silence became okay. “Perhaps we fear silence more than death” – doubts, questions, uncertainty.” Death, though still excruciating, became the seed from which something good could grow. When Caleb opened his eyes to this “death positive narrative,” he saw it producing people’s most honest selves, broke-open hearts that found ways to truly live, and stronger communities.
Ironically, death can help one to live life to the fullest. Death can bring heaven to earth. Death can bring healing. If we look close enough, as Caleb stated, “We can find the life in death….The more we confront death, the more we can embrace life.”
(quotations are taken directly from the book)
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the author and/or publisher through the Speakeasy blogging book review network. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR,Part 255.
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